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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29631975">Scattered Ashes and Charred Remains</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadeOps21/pseuds/ShadeOps21'>ShadeOps21</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Clouded judgement, Established Relationship, F/M, Near-Smut, Relationship Problems, borderline stress breakdown, emotional breakdown, not quite non-con but one of the characters is not thinking straight, post-The Playbook</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:13:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,181</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29631975</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadeOps21/pseuds/ShadeOps21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Eliza punched Jaimini solidly in jaw after the latest round of the tournament.</p><p>Actions like this have their consequences... but not the ones you may think.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eliza "Ash" Cohen/Jordan "Thermite" Trace</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Scattered Ashes and Charred Remains</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>So, the new CGI trailer dropped, and like always my friends and I watched it and then mused about it and the characters for about... well, I watched it the first time around 7am local time, and the conversation in our group chat didn’t really fade out until maybe 1:30pm that same afternoon.</p><p>So yeah, a lot of musing. Some funny, some angsty, a lot of it horny (you know exactly who you are, if you’re reading this... K, F, M: I’m looking at you three).</p><p>Anyway, that musing eventually birthed this piece of art. Hands down the most writing I’ve done outside of assignment work in a single sitting in the last year or so, and I did this all in one sitting.</p><p>I will likely write a second part, but it’s 11:45pm at the time of writing this note, so I need to sleep before I go to work tomorrow.</p><p>Enjoy!</p><p>—</p><p>BTW, in all the lore and stuff I’ve read, both RAINBOW and NIGHTHAVEN’s names have been written in caps, so I’ve continued the trend in my work. Deal with it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The mood in the changing room of the Stadium was still frosty, no words being exchanged between the handful of operators that remained there after the clash between Eliza and Jaimini an hour earlier. The mercenary had quickly changed into civilian attire and departed the stadium with no words said to anyone else, her fellow NIGHTHAVEN team members Ngũgĩ and Apha following closely behind. Apha had the decency to shoot an apologetic look to Jordan as she passed by him at the main entrance to the room, but it did little to sooth his quiet frustration at her boss.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He glanced over to the door that led to the women’s showers, where Elena was ‘standing guard’ while Ash finished cleaning herself up from the match. The relationship between the two women had developed over the years they had worked together from one of direct rivalry to more of a ‘friendly competitiveness’, where each pushed the other to outperform themselves no matter what it came to. Jordan knew that they weren’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>quite</span>
  </em>
  <span> at the stage of a fully fledged friendship, but the amount of backhanded comments and passive-aggressiveness had dropped significantly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Part of that he knew was because of Eliza’s assignment as ‘Forward Operations Coordinator’ for all of RAINBOW’s tactical operations and Elena’s duty as ‘Director of Research &amp;  Development’ meant that the pair had to sort out any personal issues between them really quick as they had work together regularly as part of the command staff.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The other part, though, was that Eliza’s sights had shifted over to Jaimini Shah. Her dislike for the Indian woman had been clear the day that Harry had made it known that he’d brought on operators from a </span>
  <em>
    <span>private military company</span>
  </em>
  <span> known as NIGHTHAVEN. Jordan would be loath to admit that he agreed with the situation as the mere idea of hiring essentially mercenaries ran contrary to the idea of RAINBOW itself, having been founded by members of different international special operations groups with the aim to counter the threat of global terrorism.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then again, if he wanted to argue that RAINBOW should be strictly specialist law enforcement and military only, then that would mean that they’d have to say farewell to the likes of Nienke Meijer, Thandiwe Ndlovuand, and a few other recent recruits to the unit that wouldn’t meet those requirements. It didn’t matter if Meijer’s expertise in holographic projections meant that they could send in a projected decoy into a dangerous setting, or if Morowa had world-class expertise in managing and controlling riots, or that Azucena knew exactly how cartels in South America ran their covert supply lines… that would be a lot of talent and expertise no longer at RAINBOW’s disposal.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Not to mention that partnering with NIGHTHAVEN </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> benefit RAINBOW from a financial aspect too. From what Harry had mentioned back in the announcement, Jaimini had offered to contribute funding for the multinational agency alongside their ‘hiring’ to foster a better relationship. The irony of mercenaries </span>
  <em>
    <span>paying them</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be a part of their unit wasn’t lost on him, but the income stream was beginning to close with the governments of current RAINBOW member nations cutting back on expenditure in their budgets. The fresh injection from Jaimini allowed them to get a little breathing room in that regard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan pulled himself from his thoughts and musings as Eliza finally emerged from the showers, her hair damp and draped over one shoulder as she made a beeline for her locker, her eyes focused to the floor and general posture a clear mix of fatigue and frustration. Jordan stole a glance at Elena, who was watching the Israeli with her own look of concern, and met her eyes. Elena tilted her head towards the main entrance with a questioning expression, to which Jordan returned with a small nod as he crossed the floor between him and Eliza. Elena wordlessly vacated the space and left the pair relatively alone, as the quiet murmurings of other operators echoed through the large changing room’s space.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eliza barely looked up at him as he sat down beside her, watching quietly as she finished tying the laces of her boots up before she sat up and let out a slow controlled breath. “How’s the hand?” Jordan prompted softly, catching sight of the bruising knuckles of her right hand as she stood to pull her button up shirt on, the cuffs rolled up to below her elbows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s a little sore,” Her response was curt but quiet, and to Jordan it spoke more to what Eliza felt than she actually let on, “nothing a little ice won’t fix.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I have some cream that’ll help numb it down if it gets bad,” he offered as he looked at her and studied her face, “or a few ice cold beers might do the trick. Pick your poison.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eliza let out another slow breath, and Jordan could tell that she was really fighting to keep her composure cool and calm despite what had happened not long ago. “That… that sounds really good, actually. Your place?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mine it is,” Jordan replied, smiling as it appeared that she was starting to perk up slightly, “A few beers, maybe a freshly ordered pizza, and season three of Breaking Bad. Once again, I’m glad that Harry gave us the night off.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You and me both, Trace. You and me both,” Eliza said as she slung her duffle bag with her field wear and other equipment over her shoulder, “I’m borrowing your shower by the way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Haven’t they fixed the water pressure in this damn stadium?” Jordan grumbled with a smirk, familiar with the complaint that was shared amongst almost every other operator that had needed to use them after a training session or competition match.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s pretty ridiculous if you think about it: a multi-national counter terrorism organisation that can develop the cutting edge of technology </span>
  <em>
    <span>can’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>fix the aging plumbing of this place.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s all about the financial priorities, ‘Liza. Betcha the piggy bank for ‘personal comforts’ is pretty light right now.”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Eliza could faintly hear Jordan’s muttering from the bedroom over the rushing water from his appartment’s shower, the noise bringing a little extra comfort to her inner turmoils as she tried in vain to have the hot water try and wash everything away. Despite her hopes though, the excess adrenaline from both the match and her subsequent confrontation with Jaimini had yet to dissipate from her system and her growing frustrations were only adding to it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To her, she had to have pissed off someone in a previous life or something, otherwise there was no other explanation as to why the last half a year seemed to do nothing but add to her own already-high stress levels: Harry’s shift of focus away from actual tactical operations and more towards internal training and development rubbed her the wrong way, as nowadays she spent more time in the command staff offices than she did in the field; the organisation of yet another tournament showcase event was also doing her head in, as Harry had assigned her as a </span>
  <em>
    <span>team captain</span>
  </em>
  <span>. As if that wasn’t enough of a headache, he’d also placed </span>
  <em>
    <span>Jaimini</span>
  </em>
  <span> under her leadership under the pretense of being able to lead people that one might not agree with on a personal level.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That was another concern of hers: </span>
  <em>
    <span>NIGHTHAVEN</span>
  </em>
  <span>. They’d expanded their numbers more over the last few months, with the additions of Håvard Haugland and Apha Tawanroong. Haugland had to be Harry’s idea of a practical joke, as far as Eliza was concerned. The man, whilst a very capable paramedic and climbing specialist, was also quite brash and impulsive bordering on reckless. He was also glued to his phone and his social media accounts. On many occasions, she’d had to pull Håvard aside and remind him of operational security and that he can’t be posting pictures of their movements and actions online without any due regard.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Apha Tawanroong on the other hand… Objectively, Apha was a rock solid operator with invaluable experience in the detection and defusal of explosive devices and unexploded ordnance. Already, she and the other ‘bomb techs’ of RAINBOW had redeveloped their procedures related to EOD and managed to help design and enhance existing counter-IED technology. Her optimism and perseverance were also infectious, even when questioned about her obvious disfigurement.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>No, her issues with Apha ran a little more personal than those with the other goons in NIGHTHAVEN. Eliza had read over her personnel file shortly after meeting her, and had seen that she and Jordan had worked together in Thailand back when she was a detective in their national police force, as part of a joint FBI-RTP investigation into arms trafficking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There were mentions about a vehicle-borne IED that she and Jordan had uncovered during the execution of a search warrant, as well as a traffic collision leading to the explosive’s detonation. The finer details were redacted, but it didn’t take much to see that it had resulted in the loss of her limbs and the cause of Jordan’s burned hands and arms. Not that it was a real secret between Jordan and her; he’d confided in her that he’d sustained his injuries on the job during a ‘raid gone bad’ but had always shied away from actually talking about the event in any great detail; something that Eliza could understand and respect. Everyone had skeletons and ghosts in their past that they never wanted to talk about after all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she’d seen the way that Jordan had looked at Apha, and the way they had that small glimmer of </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> in their eyes whenever they talked between themselves. Eliza knew she wasn being irrational, and that Jordan only ever had his eyes on </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span> when it came to things of that nature. Yet neither of them had actually come out and acknowledged that</span>
  <em>
    <span> ‘yes, they were actually serious about each other’</span>
  </em>
  <span> and ‘</span>
  <em>
    <span>no, it’s not just because the sex is amazing’</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘... Yes, I actually </span>
  </em>
  <span>love</span>
  <em>
    <span> the man and would spend the rest of my life with him if he asked...’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Still, the slimy tendril of jealousy threatened to drag her down that terrible rabbit hole.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All of this: Harry’s shift in operational focus, NIGHTHAVEN’s continued influence, the tournaments and being a team captain, her irrational jealousy of Apha and her insecurities about her own relationship, combined with the freshly heard rumor that Jaimini was trying to recruit for NIGHTHAVEN from </span>
  <em>
    <span>within RAINBOW’s own personnel</span>
  </em>
  <span>, and the mercenary’s callous and blatant disregard for both her own instructions </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> the safety of her fellow team was enough to push her over the edge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eliza’s head and heart were both pounding as the pressure of all this stress threatened to boil over, her adrenaline spiking as the anxiety pushed her closer and closer to breaking point.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jordan!” She called out over the loud shower. Idly, she noticed that the water’s temperature had increased to just below scaling and that her skin was starting to pinken from the continued heat, “Jordan! Get in here!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She must’ve sounded more desperate than she had thought, as she heard Jordan drop whatever must’ve been in his hands and come rushing into the moderately sized bathroom. He didn’t get a moment to open his mouth and ask what was wrong before Eliza leapt onto him and pushed her mouth against his in a violent kiss. The contrast of her hot and lightly scalded skin against the cool bathroom and and his own comparatively cooler body spurred her actions even further, and she pushed him back against the opposite wall, mindful of the toilet and small shelf that was about shoulder height above it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan had enough composure to quickly break away and get his hands on her shoulders as she attacked his exposed neck, “Christ almighty, ‘Liza? You alright? Thought you had hurt yourself or somethin’ in here.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No… just need you, right here and right now,” she panted, working her way down Jordan’s body and down to his sweatpants. Eliza wasted no time and pulled them down with his boxers to expose his flaccid length, gripping him and working on trying to get him erect with a fervor that she rarely exhibited when they usually hooked up. “I need you to fuck me, Trace.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck… ‘Liza…”, he groaned as he tried to get his hands on her shoulders again to try and slow her down. As erotic as the sight was, her grip was bordering on too tight and he could tell that </span>
  <em>
    <span>something</span>
  </em>
  <span> wasn’t quite right with her. Still, it didn’t take much effort to get him fully erect, and Eliza quickly stripped him of his t-shirt and pulled him off the wall. “Shit, slow down for a second… what do you need?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eliza didn’t answer him as she spun the pair of them around and pushed him back first into the shower. Jordan immediately winced at how</span>
  <em>
    <span> how</span>
  </em>
  <span> the water in the shower was but didn’t get a chance to voice his discomfort as Eliza captured his mouth in yet another intense kiss, one hand hooked around his neck to keep the pair close and her other down below as she tried to shimmy up and guide his shaft into her waiting pussy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her frustration showed though, as she couldn’t quite get as high on her toes as she needed. Jordan saw her struggling, and reached down to cup her buttocks and lift her up, spinning them around so now that her back was against the tiled wall of the shower. Reflexively, her legs lifted up to wrap around his lower back and he could feel himself rub against her crotch. Alarmingly, despite her desperate and apparent </span>
  <em>
    <span>need</span>
  </em>
  <span> to take him in this moment, he couldn’t feel the usual telltale signs of her arousal against his cock. Sure, she felt wet, but it was residual water from the shower and not her natural wetness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This, and the sight of what </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span> to have been small tears forming in the corners of her eyes set off alarm bells in Jordan’s mind. Though, once again, Eliza moved before he could properly voice his concerns, and she reached down to press his cock to her entrance and shifted her weight to take him in. A grunt of discomfort caused by a lack of lubrication escaped her throat but Eliza pressed on, trying her best to coax Jordan into thrusting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eliza, no. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Stop,</span>
  </em>
  <span>” Jordan said firmly as he pressed her firmly against the wall, deep inside her and holding still to try and get Eliza to listen to him to no avail. He sighed inwardly and begged for her forgiveness as he pulled out of her, seized her wrists with his hands and pinned them above her head, and leant down to look her in the eyes. “</span>
  <em>
    <span>Skyflash</span>
  </em>
  <span>.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eliza stilled in that moment, her eyes wide and glistening with unshed tears, bottom lip trembling and caught between her teeth. Jordan watched as she slowly returned to reality after he used their safe word, and the realisation of </span>
  <em>
    <span>exactly</span>
  </em>
  <span> what she was trying to do hit home. No sooner did Jordan release her wrists did she wrap her arms around his body and bury her face into his chest, finally letting out pained cries of despair as her body rocked from her sobbing. Jordan blindly reached for the taps and turned the water down to a much more comfortable temperature before coaxing her down to sit on the shower floor with him, his arms holding her steady as months and months of stress, frustration, anxiety and insecurity finally made themselves known to Eliza Cohen. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I got you babe, I got you.”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Jordan barely paid any attention to the Disney movie that was playing quietly on the television in front of them, instead his focus was singularly on the bundle of nerves that was resting on his chest and cocooned under a weighted blanket and in his arms. Eliza wasn’t quite asleep, but she also wasn’t exactly fully awake either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whilst she had expended most of her energy crying her heart out in Jordan’s arms in the shower, she’d had enough to finally dry off and get herself dressed into a pair of comfortable pyjamas with Jordan’s help, before he’d carried her to his bed and bundled her up in one of his blankets that he’d bought himself </span>
  <em>
    <span>years</span>
  </em>
  <span> ago after his service in the Marines. Part of it was just to offset the years he’d spent under threadbare sheets and covers in the enlisted barracks and berthings of many a Marine base and amphibious assault ship, but also as a comfort device for those nights where his thoughts ran away from him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Right now, it seemed to have the desired effect on Eliza as she had mostly settled down beyond the odd sniffle as she appeared to struggle with staying awake. Jordan honestly felt powerless. She was one of the strongest women he’d ever had the pleasure of knowing and working with, someone that pushed </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be better, someone that despite a rough start in their friendship became one of his closest friends and inspirations. To see her in such a state was distressing, and beyond managing her immediate comfort and surroundings, there wasn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>that much</span>
  </em>
  <span> that he could help with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All he could do was be there as she picked herself back together, and be that helping hand if and when she asked for it. He knew better than anyone how it felt to have people help you with mental shit completely unprompted, and that it could do more harm than good in the long term. The last thing he wanted to do right now was come across as overbearing to her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Jordan continued his internal worrying, Eliza’s mind was comparatively empty. Her breakdown had taken almost all of her remaining mental energy and left her with just enough to perform the most basic of tasks. And even then, she needed Jordan’s help to get to this point. She wasn’t upset though; she knew that if he wasn’t there she’d likely have ended up wearing her sweatpants back to front with an arm through one of the legs. So his assistance was appreciated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But now, laying cocooned on his chest and listening to his calm and steady heartbeat, her thoughts were empty. Well, mostly empty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her thoughts </span>
  <em>
    <span>were</span>
  </em>
  <span> drifting back towards RAINBOW Headquarters, to where her desk was in the command offices. To the bottom of her bottom desk drawer, to a letter hidden under a bunch of seemingly innocuous files that wouldn’t ever need to be moved unless she was cleaning out said drawer.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To a letter that stated her intentions to resign from her duties RAINBOW and request to be transferred back to her home unit at the FBI’s SWAT team. Or back to Unit 5101 of the Israeli Air Force, if the FBI deemed that her ‘exchange’ program had run its course given that her time in RAINBOW far exceeded her originally agreed upon exchange duration. Either way… that letter was looking far more attractive now than at the time she had written it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She can’t even remember exactly </span>
  <em>
    <span>why</span>
  </em>
  <span> she had written it in the first place, only that she had done so shortly after joining RAINBOW and meeting the rest of the initial team of twenty operators. Maybe she anticipated problems integrating with the other members given their nationalities and backgrounds, and wanted a clean escape route if it came to it…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whatever the reason, she was wondering if now was the time to pull the proverbial pin. Maybe all these years in this unit had finally taken their toll on her, not helped at all by the last year and the last five or six months specifically. It wouldn’t be healthy for her own mental health </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> the team as a whole if the stress and everything else continued to present itself like this in the future.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The only reason that she was staying, she realised, were the handful of new but strong friendships she had made during her time in the unit: her friendly rivalry with Elena, discussing the ‘finer points of leadership’ with Mike, drunkenly commiserating with Max about the pitfalls of being a redhead, Jordan…</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Jordan…</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>She </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span>, deep down, that she </span>
  <em>
    <span>loved</span>
  </em>
  <span> the man with all of her heart. Yet, for all of the courage, tenacity, and relentlessness that she exhibits on operations, she can’t bring herself to admit to herself and to </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span> out loud that she loved him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>What had started as a mutually beneficial way to burn off excess energy and relieve stress had grown into something much deeper than either of them had anticipated. At first, the pair had downplayed their feelings and attachment to one another out of fear of being kicked out of RAINBOW by then-Six Aurelia Arnott. The woman had made it clear that there was a high standard of professionalism to be maintained in the unit, and while a level of camaraderie and familiarity between personnel was to be expected, there was to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>no</span>
  </em>
  <span> fraternisation between active members of the unit.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With the announcement of her departure and of Harry, the unit’s psychological advisor, taking her position as the new Six, those standards started to lax. He’d been the ‘carrot’ to Aurelia’s ‘stick’, and it definitely showed as more and more operators began to pair up, either for one-off hook-ups or for burgenoning relationships. It actually became a game to try and keep up with who was dating who at any given time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As this happened, her own relationship with Jordan grew deeper as there was no longer any real fear of being punished and set home. Sure, there was the expectation that your personal life stayed behind whenever a ‘couple’ were deployed together on a tactical operation with high stakes, and everyone (including them) managed to follow that expectation without any issues. Though, the occasional lover’s spat tended to be settled on the sparring mats, all in good fun of course.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan and herself tended to draw larger crowds than most, and on many occasions she spotted money being exchanged after they’d ‘settled their disagreements’.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Still… would Jordan leave if she left?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She suspected that he’d follow her if she returned to the FBI, but she didn’t want him to throw away his career if she couldn’t go back there and end up back home in Israel. Furthermore, she </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> that it’d break both of their hearts regardless of which unit she returned too: the FBI was a no-go as fraternisation regulations were </span>
  <em>
    <span>extremely </span>
  </em>
  <span>strict, and the IDF was undesirable purely because of the distance.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fighting a yawn, Eliza pushed the thoughts aside and refocused on the slower heartbeat through Jordan’s chest. She stole a glance up to his face and saw that he had drifted to sleep, his arms a little looser around her body but still wrapped around her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her own heart started to race as she contemplated her next action. Summoning the remainder of her energy, she spoke softly to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I love you Jordan…”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>The last few days between now and the tournament had been interesting to say the least. Word of Eliza and Jaimini’s confrontation had made it back to Harry, and he’d wasted no time in pulling the two women in for ‘disciplinary counselling’. Despite them having another staff member fill Harry’s vacated role of psychological advisor, he’d spoken to them each personally. While it wasn’t uncommon for Harry to take one-on-one time with the operators from time to time, likely a habit from his days in his old position, Jordan suspected that Harry harboured some guilt and felt responsible for what happened between the two women in some fashion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan would be fair in assigning Harry some of the blame too: he </span>
  <em>
    <span>knew</span>
  </em>
  <span> that Ash held reservations and disdain for the mercenaries, and knew that Ash </span>
  <em>
    <span>personally</span>
  </em>
  <span> did not get along well with Jaimini. Yet, knowing this, he pushed the pair together in a misguided attempt to get them to ‘play nice’ in a crude form of exposure therapy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It just so happened to blow up in his face, and now he had to play clean up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jaimini had been reprimanded for exposing her ‘team’ to undue risk and was reminded that while operating as a part of RAINBOW, she was expected and required to abide by the unit’s tactics and </span>
  <em>
    <span>spirit</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Translated: don’t use your team as bait, and don’t put them in your line of fire on purpose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As for Eliza… she was reminded that as a member of RAINBOW’s command staff, she was expected to maintain a standard of behavior and conduct higher than that of regular operational staff. She, of all people as an appointed team leader, should</span>
  <em>
    <span> never have</span>
  </em>
  <span> physically struck down a fellow team member the way she did with Jaimini after that match.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Both had received notices of verbal warning in their personnel files, though Eliza’s wouldn’t go back to her former superiors in the FBI and IDF, and Jaimini’s didn’t really matter as she</span>
  <em>
    <span> was</span>
  </em>
  <span> the commander of NIGHTHAVEN. Both left their sessions with tight expressions and even tighter lips. Eliza had been quiet ever since, sometimes going as far as to avoid contact with everyone else unless necessary.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Which brought Jordan to this morning. Jordan hadn’t seen Eliza since breakfast, which was somewhat concerning and problematic as the pair of them were scheduled to recertify on aircraft fast-roping and rappelling later that day. Marius was really strict when it came to timing for aviation operations to the point where if you were late to a safety brief by even two minutes, he’d damn near kick you off the mission citing safety concerns.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Said brief for this training evolution was going to start in half an hour’s time, and he’d been all over the headquarters trying to find the Israeli. Elena, Mike, or Meghan had not seen her at all either, which was odd as they were the most likely to see her given that most of their time together was in the command offices alongside Harry and Sam. And nobody else had seen her, though Emmanuelle had pointed out somewhat worriedly that Eliza had been really quiet that morning in their communal mess room before ducking back to her own accomodations in the barracks shortly after cleaning up.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jordan approached her dorm’s door and knocked on it, pausing at it swung open under his touch. He slowly stepped inside and took note that the usually cluttered room was strangely empty, barring a few remaining personal effects that remained visible. Eliza’s bed, which was normally made to crisp military precision, was bare except for the base sheet, and had multiple boxes and a pair of suitcases resting atop it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And by her small desk, packing a small box with the last few items of her belongings, was Eliza herself. She was wearing civilian attire, which was not exactly uncommon for members of RAINBOW, though her usual combination of a button up shirt and combat pants with her boots was strangely absent. Instead it was just a regular t-shirt, jeans, and some comfortable looking runners.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Woah, ‘Liza… you movin’ rooms or something? I could grab some of the guys to give you a hand carrying some of this if you wa-” Jordan started to offer, still trying to piece together what exactly he was seeing. He was cut off though as Eliza stowed what she was holding in the box and turned to face him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m leaving, Jordan.” The words killed whatever response he’d prepared before he could say it, and left him absolutely floored. He wondered if he’d misheard her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... Leavin’? Leavin’ what, exactly…” Jordan asked cautiously. The silence that filled the void between them was enough of an answer for him. “Right… okay. Why didn’t you say anything’?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I just did,” Eliza said, turning back around to finish packing the box with her belongings.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I meant earlier, Eliza. Why didn’t you talk to me about this?”Jordan shifted his weight to lean against the doorframe, arms folded across his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t have to. Last I checked, whether I remain on RAINBOW is my own decision to make, not anyone else’s, and certainly not yours.” There was something in her tone that Jordan could hear, but he couldn’t place what it was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Still, don’t you think most people would consider telling their-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Their ‘what’, Trace? Partner? Girlfriend? Fuck-buddy?” Eliza spat out, not even bothering to look at him as she spun around with the loaded box and carried it to the bed with the other boxes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I was going to say </span>
  <em>
    <span>team</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but I can see just how much you value me in that case.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jordan, I’m sorry you had to find out like this… but if having fucked someone entails me to listen to their advice on what to do with my career and my own life, then I’ve got a few phone calls to make and emails to write.” The apathy of Eliza’s statement cut Jordan deep inside, and it took all of his patience not to bite back with an equally cutting remark.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I get it… you’re just runnin’ away from this like you run from every conversation that you can’t punch your way out of.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Eliza paused and looked up at him, and he could see that this argument was hurting her just as much as it was with him. “Wow, how long have you been holding that one in for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Long enough… now what the fuck’s goin’ on with you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fuck off, Trace. You aren’t my goddamn therapist.” The venom was really thick with that, and Jordan almost took a step back just out of sheer self-preservation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, you’re right, I’m not your therapist. But I </span>
  <em>
    <span>thought</span>
  </em>
  <span> I was your fucking friend!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At this, Eliza scoffed, “First thing we can agree on this time around, you were my </span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking friend</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Emphasis on the first part.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get fucked, Cohen.” Jordan made a move to leave the room, but not before Eliza could get one last parting shot in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe you should swing by Apha’s room on your way out, maybe you can get fucked too!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That made Jordan pause, his blood turning to ice as he looked over his shoulder at Eliza. Despite her apparent anger and rage filled eyes, tears were streaming down her face and her arms were wrapped around herself as if she was trying not to be sick. She clearly was upset more than angry, but by now Jordan couldn’t bring himself to care.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... Trust me, you’ll know if I do.” Jordan didn’t look back after he left the doorway, but he could distinctly hear Eliza fall to her knees and start crying as he walked down the hallway, her sobs growing quieter with each step. His feet carried him on autopilot until he was outside the building, where the once sunny sky had started to cloud over with dark looking rainclouds.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God</span>
  <em>
    <span>fucking</span>
  </em>
  <span>damnit Eliza… I love you too…”</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
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